Friday, September 11, 2009

My choice? Since when?

My new favorite tee. :D

Hel-o! I was kinda figuring out what to do because you know, I currently am not into anything so I'm something of.. a vegetable. A vegetable who learns Korean and still goes to the gym. Yay. So anyway, I thought, oh what the hey, I'll just blog and let you know what's up.

I think... I'm at the point of frustration and helplessness right now. See, I'm currently browsing through colleges and courses and though it may seem a little easier that I have a particular goal in mind, it's still pretty.. difficult. Hard to explain, but whatever. I'm just here to vent. =p

Do you know how frustrating and agitating it is to know what you want but you don't have a choice in it? Sure, they say you do but well, it's just empty words and assurances to make you feel that you still have some kind of power in your life. But I do know how insignificant and minuscule that power is in mine. I'm racking my head and biting my teeth by just having these gnawing thoughts swimming around in my mind, practically eating the hours of my day away.

Sometimes I really just wanna scream and say "It's MY life, not yours so stop freaking making me do things that I do NOT want to do!!"

But in the end, keeping from rejection and embracing it is what I have to do.

The only comfort in all this is that well, my life is really, in fact, not in my hands alone, but in His as well. Thinking that He's steering my path does serve as a peace of mind, but.. I'm still human. And the fact that my decisions are hardly acknowledged does irritate me a whole lot.

I guess, in this moment, I'm gonna have to leave it all to trust. Trust that in this dump of a situation, I can truly just let go and say, 'lead me'. Trust that somewhere down the road, I'll be provided with a sense of security and um, less anger. =p

So yes. It's all Yours!

Soph, Leo, Soph. (I know I look dem puffy and sweaty, go away)

Besides that, I'm partially depressed also because the Winangun family is returning back to Aust in 4 days. Means no more late-night ginrami, l4d, sisterly chats... and definitely no more crazy baby niece running the house going "Ah Fun! Ah Ling!" (Yeah, she picked it up from my parents. What on earth happened to sai yi and tai yi?! Aigu.)

I is sad. ):

PS: Only watch Gamer if you're into movies purely meant for action and nothing else. Storyline's kinda weak and really pervy. And like I said on my FB, the young kid there looks like a cross between Zac Efron and Aaron Johnson. Almost perfect. :O

current tune: Love Struck - V Factory


Justine said...

Love the tee (:
And no you don't look puffy and sweaty, you look cute!
And why no cbox?

sophira chong said...

Ahah, thanks :)
Cause it's dead, so yeah. Don't wanna have too many stuffs on my side bar.