Thursday, February 24, 2011

Throughout the time that I'm writing this, I have to remind myself to: 1) look away thoughtfully from the screen and prevent my eyes from closing (thoughtfully, so I appear to be pondering upon something and my mom doesn't complain that the UV rays from the laptop are biting away at my eyeballs), and 2) don't get distracted by Modern Family.

..obviously the latter isn't going to work so I'm going to just concentrate on the first.

Reason for that is because I've been feeling so fatigued lately. I wake up and I don't feel refreshed; 30 mins later I'm singing out loud in the car with Apek, desperately trying to keep myself awake; and then by the time I reach class, I feel like dying. I get exhausted so easily. I just slept for two hours in the afternoon and I'm feeling sleepy right now already. I don't know if it's stress or pressure or both stress AND pressure and the fact that I feel somehow so discouraged this sem it takes so much effort to just pick myself and get through the day.

I guess I partially know the cause of this weariness but.. I'll just leave myself guessing so I would be a tad bit less miserable.

Other than that, it's only been a little less than a week since my sister left and it feels terrible. Well, it usually does each time she leaves. Because for me, it just means getting adjusted back to the quietness at home and by quietness, I mean not having some crazy Asian 30-somethings pester me all day to watch Modern Family and some other old Korean movie that I still have not finished watching. (But she doesn't need to know that) I think one of my somewhat 'happier' days this week was when she called back yesterday and made me play L4D2 with her and my brother. The only hiccup was my laggy internet but that didn't matter much. Sister + zombies = good times. Plus it's nice having a sister stay up with you, chatting way into the night about anything arbitrary.

So yes, I do miss her a lot. What's new.

What else that's been happening:
- Being thrown into a spiral of workload. For our lates group assignment, we've been given 6 days to do it. Six-flipping-days.
- Haven't had enough time even for myself. The few times that I do, I am usually too tired to do anything.
- Having my mind clouded with thoughts I wish I could block out and just flush down the toilet bowl.
- Been getting frustrated easily. Internally, of course. Nobody wants to look at a grouchy grandma.

I know this post sounds so glum but, it's just how I've been feeling.

And maybe that's just it. I've not been feeling happy.

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