Wednesday, August 26, 2009

What's in a life?

Skippy: Spider, snakes, and a lizard's head,
If I tattletale, I'll die till I'm dead.

Sometimes I wonder whether it's just a human's tendency to simply wait for something to happen in order to realize.. or is it intuition? Nature? Coincidence?
I've been driven to open my eyes to changes that I want to embrace because there's just not enough time in life itself. Sad to say, a second incident had to take place just for me to see that.

Yesterday, my uncle's brother suddenly collapsed. Call it celebral hemorrhage or whatever, but his brain was bleeding and he died right on the spot. And I only saw him once like, last year? He was a really nice guy, though I didn't talk to him much.

Immediately, I just find myself asking why. And then this famous line comes to mind: Everything happens for a reason.

Just one simple fact. I believe one of the main reasons for me is that it served as a reminder of the impact that truly shook my life on the 30th of May. I remember every single detail about the days that followed, what we did, what time and when. How everyone felt.

But then I also remembered what I promised myself and how the effect somehow faded a month after. What happened to that promise? Has anything changed? Honestly, no. Sure we said to treasure everything we had and to live life to the fullest, etc. But things are just back to normal now. Exactly what my sis said would be.

If I had to be brutally sincere, I'd say that if I died right about now, I would have myriads of things that I'd regret and my life wasn't really fully lived, much less half-lived.

I haven't cherished and appreciated what I have as much as I should.
I haven't loved as deeply as I could.
I've taken many things and situations for granted.
If I really meant what I said to myself 3 months ago, my life wouldn't be the same as it is right now.

All I can say is, I'm not gonna let another death make me realize again how life is so precious and how grateful I should be just to be breathing as easily as I can. There are still lots of other stuff I could go on about, but I think i'll just leave this for you guys :) and for me to think more about later.

Please, please, do not view God, life, family or friends with a frivolous eye.
I have. And when you learn to see the bigger picture, it really REALLY sucks deep down.

"...and in the end, it's not the years in your life that count. It's the life in your years."

Here's to you, Vern.

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