14.10.09

Hi Vern! The weird hairless piggy girl is here to disturb you again.

Actually, I had all sorts of words mounting up in my mind all day, just waiting to be poured out somewhere; in my diary, in my blog, wherever. But now, to think properly of it, I could probably go on and on all day but it'd never be enough.

It's funny how so many things seem to carry a particular sense of significance to it now.
Just the other day, I was watching TV and the McLeod's Daughters ad came on. Then I saw one of the actors wearing that same shirt of yours I got from your mom (either that or it looked scarily alike). I went crazy ballistic like "OMG VERN! PA, LOOK! IT'S VERN'S SHIRT!"

My parents just stared at me, hah. But I guess they're used to it. Often, since like 4 months ago, I randomly spurt out a thing or two about you, what happened way back when, or anything that reminded me of you at that distinct time or place.

And then now, it's already the 14th. You know, a few days ago I was just thinking of what to do tomorrow (um, today). Probably like everyone else, I want to remember you in my own special way. If that makes sense.

I have quite a few things that I have begun to regret recently. The most obvious one being that I didn't value the relationships I had. Of course back then, who would think of anything happening to us. We all thought the same. Yet another regret is making the mistake of not saving old MSN conversations. Or rather, getting my stupid old laptop messed up and all. Things I'd so dearly wish to cherish now.

Like Zoe said, feeling sad or shedding tears doesn't seem exactly appropriate. Cause I know for sure you wouldn't want us moping around on your birthday. Then again, being all smiles feels too transparent and strained.

So I have to say, this must be a missing you feeling.
Cause I really do. I miss you.


I know this post seems pretty choppy. Thinking straight isn't exactly in my agenda right now.

I just wanna wish you, Vern, a happy birthday.
I wish I could text you or pester you, like I faithfully do every year.

Here's to many more days.
You'll be in our hearts. For now, for always.

And it hurts
But I'm glad
Cause at least I was blessed
To have you as my friend.